I just read that 16% of US parents are banning their children from watching fairy tales.
Apparently, many find fault with the Prince for not obtaining Snow White’s consent before awakening her from a coma with a kiss – despite the fact that no tongue was involved. I’m confused. Didn’t he save her life? Isn’t it kind of like a really hot paramedic giving an unconscious woman mouth to mouth? Anyway, it’s not like any of the dwarfs stepped up to help her. Not even Doc. Just let that sink in.
Others parents are appalled that Cinderella had to do all of the cleaning. Perhaps it would have been less traumatic if Cinderella was given a Miracle Mop. Who knows. Meanwhile, I am much more concerned with Cinderella’s freakish shoe size. How is it that there was not one other woman in the entire village with the same size foot? Not one. I think someone is in urgent need of a podiatrist. But not Doc. If that’s even his real name.
Fellow, parents, I get how emotionally scarring fairy tales can be.
I even wrote an entire screenplay about it called, “Another Sappy Love Story”, about a thirty-ish year-old woman named Cindy Heller who after becoming infatuated with fairy tales and romance movies decides to sue the most renowned producer of romance films, claiming that the unrealistic portrayal of love depicted in his films is the cause of all of her relationship failures.
It spoofed some of the most famous fairy tales and romance flicks of all time. And it was pretty effin’ funny if I do say so myself.
I wrote it when I was single following a string of really horrific dates. One guy may have even been certifiable. Anyway, it took me about a month to write. I wrote day and night. I barely slept. When it was finished I sent it a number of agencies and producers. I even walked to Rockefeller Center to personally hand deliver a copy to Lorne Michaels. I got as far as the mailroom.
About 2 months later I was at a bar having some drinks with friends, whining about how I’m never going to find love, when my cell phone rang. There was some interest in the script. I was asked to make some revisions and resubmit.
The very next night was my first date with my husband.
I never made the revisions. But I did end up with a renewed faith in fairy tales.
Mock ’em yes, but don’t deprive your kids from believing in fairy tales.
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