Bad Guys Don’t Win

Ah, the American cinema.

There is nothing more sanguine.

In case you’ve never experienced a cinematic escape, below are a few spoiler alerts.

The mean step-sister doesn’t get to marry the Prince.

The underdog will unfailingly triumph.

The one with the ugliest face is most likely the villain.

The evil scheme won’t be foiled until about 90 minutes into the flick.

And the bad guy will never, ever win.

An American film is like a 2 hour karmic blanket that restores your faith in humanity.

I just wish I knew why every bag of movie groceries contains a loaf of french bread.

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